I lay in bed last night, a few minutes after midnight, the first few minutes of a new year, and thought about resolutions and dreams and so much more. To try to calm my brain down, to stop over-analyzing my life, to stop thinking so much...how to bring the important things into focus? Life's ideas, problems, wishes and insecurities were on repeat, spinning around like a carousel where every painted horse was a warrior of sorts. Hunting for life, for life.
Well, today is a new day and I awoke to a sunlit snow-covered pasture outside my door with a brand new song in my head.
What I have surmised, in my very short life, my very short time here on Earth, is that every day is indeed a new day. The sun sets, the sun rises, moods change, life changes, things that seemed scary, freaky, weird, strange and chaotic the night before are mere memories now, and I am once again in control of my warrior painted horses.
To try to find only one great big meaning of life, one great big purpose in life... It's not realistic when there are so many things, people, places, sights, smells, choices, stimuli surrounding each and every one of us at any given time. Why try to pick just one thing, one meaning? There are so many doors and windows to open, why not see what you can find and revel in the little gifts that present themselves? I bet you can pick five, just by looking around you...
MY five, right now:
1) The smell of the hand-made (unlit) beeswax candle sitting beside me.
2) The taste of the freshly ground coffee in my mug, fair-trade and all.
3) The feel of this warm poncho wrapped around me.
4) The sound of the fire crackling and sputtering in it's pot-belly iron home.
5) The look of my freshly polished guitar, shining in the sun, precariously positioned in the seat across from me.
Stop reveling in your own distaste for life. Yes, it sucks sometimes, yes, people can be uncaring and mean, and even worse, soul-less and ignorant. You can spend your time worrying about becoming one of these types, or you can walk away from them when they try to suck the life out of you. These needy, energy suckers, they are everywhere, heck even you and I can be among this class of folk, at times, we are human after all, but we don't have to live there forever. Yes, once in awhile we do things, we say things that make us feel sick, we drink too much, we judge too much, we don't live enough, we don't appreciate enough. Time passes and we have to get over those bumps, manoevre around the bends and curves. Ultimately we are filled to the brim with emotions of all sorts. Letting them free isn't a bad thing. Cry, run, laugh, sigh, Love, but KNOW that it all passes, time is going to come and change you, any second now.
Those painted horses could be opportunities or distorted fears.
They could be the seed of a dream or a the face of a nightmare.
It's up to YOU to decide.
and with that,
Happy New Year....choose wisely this 2014,